From the moment I sat down to have lunch with my daughters, I knew I was in for it. My 10-month-old at the time was being incredibly moody (thank you bottom teeth for cutting at the same time) and my toddler was behaving like a rowdy delinquent. To put the cherry on what felt like a melting sundae, my mom was over and her endless opinions regarding my parenting was starting to take its toll.
That’s when it all came crashing down. My toddler started to loudly protest the food that was set in front of her and my baby made it very clear that she was in no mood to eat. I couldn’t even be bothered to hear my mother’s judgmental gibberish over the synchronized yelling that was spilling out of my daughters’ mouths. Just when I thought I would have to jump out a window in order to save myself, my eldest daughter threw macaroni at my face. The handful of noodles slapped me on the cheek and fell on the already dirty kitchen floor.
I didn’t have the mental capacity to count to 10 and I was already too far gone to walk away and practice my breathing in another room. To hell with my chakras. I shot up from my seat, grabbed my toddler’s silicone plate and launched it at the wall. While the remnants of my daughter’s lunch slid down to the floor, I balled up my fists and yelled at the top of lungs.
Finally, there was a moment of silence. I maneuvered my toddler out of her booster seat and put her down for a nap, knowing that I would feed her later. I returned to my infant, gave her something to ease her discomfort and proceeded to bark at my mother. I was tired of feeling like a punching bag and I was fed up with cleaning up after everyone. I was done.
I would be lying if I said this was the first time that my children pushed me to the brink of insanity. Toddlers are notorious for testing patience and the only way that babies know how to communicate, is by crying. Eventually, even the most centered and zen mama bear is going to want to eat one of her cubs.
Being a mom is HARD. We often talk about the warm and fuzzies of motherhood, but we don’t shed a lot of light on the not-so lovey-dovey moments. Before we open our mouths to share a piece of our mom truth, we are often compelled to say that we love our children. Rather than reiterate the obvious, I am compelled to tell you this instead:
- It is okay to lose your shit sometimes
- It is normal to count down to their bedtime
- You are not a bad mom if you swap screen time for a bit of peace and quiet
- Stress eating a piece of chocolate while you hide from your toddler actually enhances the taste
- Raising your voice is a normal coping mechanism when you can’t think straight
- Your mom bun and helmet of dry shampoo is actually more becoming than you think
- Not all superheroes wear capes
- You are a great mom.
Do you often find yourself counting to 10? When was the last time motherhood sent you over the edge?